Fight of My life...

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Posted on by Norm McNamara

As we go into February the year seems to be flying by already. The thing is with this disease “Time” seems so distorted. Sometimes I have been told that when Elaine is in the kitchen I go in two minutes later and ask why it’s taking so long to do whatever she is doing?

I have also noticed that the days seem a lot longer and the nights even longer! Yesterday I had a really “Down Day “or I had my “Concrete overcoat on” as I always put it. I have trouble making sense of everything sometimes and it’s just so frustrating. Things are running along quite smoothly apparently, and with a family as big as mine that’s quite unusual LOL but yet I still feel so inadequate and useless sometimes that I fall into the depths of despair.

I always feel as if there is so much more to be done, (but every time I get things wrong, which is so often in a day it’s sometimes a little too much to bear,) I feel so helpless. It might only be misunderstanding what Elaine had said or getting the time and day wrong  but it all mounts up and is so soul destroying. I just feel sometimes that I am only a mere shadow of the man I was. All I want to be is back the way I was, is that too much to ask?

What everyday people take for granted like using the right soap for washing with instead of shaving foam or putting the camera in the sideboard instead of the freezer is something that happens to me on a regular basis. It took us half an hour the other day to find my tracksuit bottoms, only to find them stuffed in the toilet roll holder!! Don’t ASK!!

All these things are never explained to you when you are diagnosed and it’s up to the wonderful carer`s (Caregivers) to try and second guess our next move.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not whining or complaining about my illness, I have what I have and I, or we (as Family and friends) intend to make the best of it. But I am who I am and I am only human, and I have feelings just like everyone else.

So please, anybody that reads this who has not had any experience with anybody with any type of dementia please don`t look the other way if you know me and are frightened to talk to me.

Please don’t laugh and giggle behind your hands if you see me looking confused and bewildered in the supermarket when I put the newspapers in the fruit and veg stand.

And most of all, please be patient with me if it takes me a little more time to respond when you ask me a question as it takes just that little bit longer to think of an answer these days, please remember,

I HAVE ALZHEIMERS` I`M NOT STUPID!!

I didn’t ask for this disease, I didn’t cause it by eating unhealthy or anything like that, Alzheimer’s choose me, I didn’t choose Alzheimer`s, but I tell you this,

IT PICKED ON THE WRONG GUY THIS TIME!!!!

THIS IS THE FIGHT OF MY LIFE AND ONE I INTEND TO WIN!!!

Thank you for taking the time to read this, best wishes and lots of love, Norrms, Elaine and family xxxxxxxxxxxx

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8 Responses to Fight of My life

  1. JANET GLUD says:

    My mother is 88 with alz..Love the stories

  2. Norm is a tireless advocate for awareness of the Demential producing diseases!

  3. Councillor Alison Hernandez says:

    Hey great blog by a great bloke doing great things. I’m voting for this to win as Norm makes me proud that he is representing Torbay, England and being recognised for his efforts to help others with dementia.

  4. Charlotte Kimm says:

    Norm, the best thing that you do, in my opinion, is give us a real and true glimpse into what our partners or parents are going through when they suffer from Alzheimer’s. I am sure you have heard of the new breakthrough, cured mice of thei Alz when given a cancer drug…if not go to

    http://www.case.edu/

    Neuroscientists at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine have made a dramatic breakthrough in their efforts to find better treatments for Alzheimer’s disease. The researchers’ findings, published in the journal Science, show that use of a drug currently prescribed to treat cancer appears to reverse Alzheimer’s symptoms in mice. The results point to the significant potential that the medication, bexarotene, has to help the roughly 5.4 million Americans with the progressive brain disease.

  5. barry grannell says:

    My mum has Alzheimers and this disease is so awful . We still have mum but she is locked in her own world now , where nothing makes sence to her , she doesnt know us for 99% of the time and then every now and then there is a flicker. It breaks my heart to see my once proud mum a shell of her former self. I also see all the other people in the home in the same boat all at different stages of this awful disease. SO VERY SAD. Im fundraising for the Alzheimers society visit my page and see what im doing and why. http://www.justgiving.com/barrygrannell BE STRONG AND THANK YOU FOR THE STORY

  6. Valerie says:

    Norm isnt only helping sufferers and carers, he is teaching professionals who get second hand training based on observations only. Norm is giving it from the heart day by day. His blog is a fantastic training tool for nurses, Drs and others who work with dementia sufferers

  7. Sabrina says:

    I understood Alzheimers and Dementia so much more after reading Normms book “Me And My Alzheimers”. I recommend it to anyone that either illness has touched. I used to get so frustrated with my Grandmother until I read his book and it really put things into perspective. She was diagnosed late so it went on for a while before we found out but once I read the book things were much clearer. Normms has become a good friend of mine and a true inspiration!

  8. Weber Feres says:

    A very sad and ungloriuos disease, we are so very upset about all the things we are going true. It is eating my mom alive, and dragging us along, she is now on the last stage, copletely dependent on us. I send a HUGE KUDOS FOR EVERY CAREGIVER OF AN AD PATIENT. RESIGNATION TO GOD´S WILL, AND HOPE TO AN END WITH A MINIMUM OF DIGNITY. DEMENTIA IS DEMENTIONING THE WORLD OF US ALL.

    Weber Feres- Barbacena- Minas Gerais -BRAZIL

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