Me and My Gran

Dolly was her name, my gran that is. Actually it wasn’t really “Dolly” it was Mary, Mary Mc Manus, but standing at a mere 4 feet 5 inches you can guess where she got the name from. She was called that from being very young and it stuck all the way through her wonderful life. So there was my Gran “Dolly” . 4 feet 5 inches tall, and a smile that could brighten up a room and all i remember from being very young.

My gran brought me up you see, she was the one who washed and bathed me, wiped my bum and made me put a towel over my head and breathe deeply over a bowl of steaming hot water and something that smelled awful but swore it would clear my head when i had a cold, it usually did!!  She was the one who moulded me into who i am today, same sense of urgency, same look on life, same morals (Thankfully) and best of all, same sense of humour. I knew my mum and dad, but yet i never questioned why she was the one to bring me up. I was very close to mu mum in later years but sadly not my dad, but my gran was always there, first thing in a morning and last thing at night when i couldn’t sleep. She would always slip in behind me and i felt as though i was sat on her knee as she raised her knees up to comfort me with her ever loving arms safe around my waist until i went back to sleep. But, she would be the same gran who would wake me up at some ungodly hour in a morning at weekends and shout at me that no good would ever come of staying in bed al; day when there was so much to do with the day!!

My Gran never got to see my kids being born, because dementia came and took her away when she was only 62 yrs old. It crept silently up and took away the most important person in my life at the time , near the end she had no idea who i was, this was the most hurtful thing i have ever imagined, i have never known pain like it, How could she not know me? How could she not remember me? Dis this mean that if she didn’t know me, then she didn’t love me anymore ??? I was inn my twenties so i wasn’t a kid, but i can remember being so frustrated, so B****Y angry at the world and all that who were in it!! I was that ill at her funeral it was decided i couldn’t go because i was completely exhausted and people were so worried about my health, and yet here i am. Truth be known i have never really forgiven myself for not going.

The years passed, the pain grew dimmer and yet i still didn’t think for one minute it would strike again, but it did, in my father. I thought this time the process was a lot quicker, but looking back it probably wasn’t as my poor mum was caring for him for so long before taking the decision to put him in a care home for his own safety and hers, he died shortly after.

And to the present day, as you know, i now have dementia!!! i now have this terrible, awful disease that has ripped apart my own life in the past and that of my family, not content with taking my grandma away from me and my father, it now wants to take me away from my family

So, that’s it !! You have now met my Gran, my wonderful, loving, all giving never taking Grandmother !! , shes responsible for all i do now, and all i will do in the future. I have lost count the amount of times my own Angel “Elaine” has said jokingly ” Your Gran has something to answer for !!LOLL

So, Grandma, wherever you are,

“””  All i do is in memory of you   “””

Norrms Mc Namara Cc    Diagnosed with dementia aged 50, now 57 yrs old and still fighting it !!!!!