Hello, I am sorry if that opening title upsets anybody but do tend to see things as they really are, but on saying that i still have a life and believe it or not i still have a future, albeit an uncertain one, and this is why i want to talk about End Of Life Care.
I know its still a very TABBOO subject and not at all comfortable to discuss amongst some, but when you are faced with decision making after the sort of diagnosis i have had, i really believe Its in everybody’s best interest to talk about these things openly and honestly.
The day me and my (Angel) wonderful wife Elaine and now full time carer sat our family down and spoke about this was without doubt one on the most emotional days of our lives, but since doing so the stress that is has relieved (Especially from my wife) is immeasurable.
Now everybody knows where and when and even what to dress in!! I don’t want any black as i try to live my life to the full and without worry. All my life i have tried to shield my family from the horrors and the worries of the world, and would like to continue to do that on the day they say goodbye. We have also put our financial affairs in order and plans for the childrens future. But more importantly we have taken away all of those awkward moments and struggles to make the right decision from my family and friends, none more so than my darling wife.
I have decided what kind of “End of Life ” care to have, i have also informed her at what point to put me into residential care, no matter how much i may argue about it when the time comes, because i do not want my beautiful wife to go through the horrors of looking after someone with late stage dementia and all that it entails, my father and grandmother both died of Alzheimers disease and i have seen the heartache it brings. I would be so selfish if i sat here and thought ” Thats OK” i wont know whats happening anyway so what does it matter! What right have i to treat someone like that who has dedicated thier life to looking after not only me but my children then our grandchildren, not fair is such and understatement.
So the next time you hear the words “Dying Matters ” YES IT DOES!! Please remember those who are left behind who are left there to pick up the pieces, please remember that if you know you have an incurable disease it doent mean tha your life id over. There could be a cure just around the corner, but until that happens, please help your loved ones out, and talk openly and honestly about what YOU would like to see happen if the worst comes to the worst. It could be your legacy of helpfulness that people will remember most. i am now four years into a diagnosis of Alzheimers and i hope to be here in another four years time writing about te same thing. I like to think i have tried to achieve so much since being diagnosed, Please (Google Norman Mc Namara) but i feel as if i still have so much more to achieve and one of those things i want to achieve is to make sure that people with dementia are involved as much as possible regarding there end of life choices, so, please watch this space !!LOL best wishes, Norrms and family xxxxxxxxx