Spring out of sleep to the phone, it's dark outside
It's Mom "I have an announcement to make,
I am going to divorce your father"
"What?" "Cheating on me" "Mom, you can't, Daddy died"
"He did? When, NO" "Don't cry, it's been a long time,
it's ok, I'll come over" Getting dressed, phone ringing,
pour coffee, I keep listening to my CD
"The falling leaves drift by my window,
the autumn leaves of red and gold" Message on machine
Brother-in- law, "You are going to have a long day,your mother called me-she is going to divorce your father"
Message: Karen, "Mom called me here at work, she is divorcing dad"
Putting on my make-up Cindy calls me "Mom is sobbing, dad died"
"I am on my way" Pick up Mom, Cindy, go to hospital
Mom is asked to sign in "I can't sign that, it has the wrong date"
Accurately, she corrects "September 29, 2005, NOT the 12th"
Asks the lab technician "why is my blood two-toned?"
"Two toned?" "Yes, bright red and yellow goop"
"What the hell is that yellow goop in my blood anyway?"
"We put it in the vial, to help separate platelets from serum; you are the first person to ever ask me that"
"I notice these things"
We have to walk across the hospital to get to the clinic,too far for Mom, Cindy grabs an oversized wheelchair
Sits Mom in it; it has pedals for feet 3 feet apart
Mom stretches her legs far apart to reach the pedals
Cynthia takes a running start with the wheelchair
Right in front of the prissy pink-ladies
"Ready for that pap-test Ma?" We are all laughing out the hospital door, cross the road to the clinic
Cindy springs Mom, flys back to the hospital with the chair
We stop laughing
Karen comes out of her office, we are somber
waiting for Mom's call into the doctor's office
Mom sits down tells the doctor "I feel great"
"I take my pills, cook my meals, eat, take care of everything"
Her daughters have tears dripping off their chins
they cannot look at each other or Mom
My head is spinning with the morning song
"I see your lips, neath summer kisses,
the sunburned hands, I used to hold"
I look in her doctor's eyes, "We came for guidance,We can't keep this up, it's not working"
Mom yells "What do you mean its not working?"
Cindy "Mom, yesterday you fell on the floor,
I found you all bloody. Look at your bruises"
"You didn't even notice, Ma, you were all bloody"
"I was not". Karen "You called this morning,
you said you were going to divorce dad"
"I did not". Cindy "Mom, you were crying,
with chest pains this morning" "I feel fine"
"Mama, it's not good, you are not fine.
When I leave you at night I feel like I am leaving little Issac alone to take of himself, I'm scared for you"
Doctor "Janice, we have been trying to help your memory for a long time. We tried the pills"
"I TAKE MY DAMN PILLS" "Janice, you have Alzheimers disease"
"I DO NOT". Karen, "Mom, do you remember the wedding last week?" "What wedding?" "Laurel took you last week, the three hundred mile trip in the car" "Who got married?"
"Ma, you don't remember" ...... I'm escaping
"Since you went away, the days grow long"
"Of course I do, I danced, what the hell's the
matter with you?" "Mom, you went to the wedding;
but you never danced" Doctor "Your daughters are here because they love you and want you to be safe,
it is time to think about a nursing home for you"
"The HELL they do, they want to lock me up, they want me dead. How could you do this to me? I hate you girls,
I never thought you would do this to me"
"and I can hear, cold winter's song"
It's getting late tonight, phone rings
"This is your mother, you disgust me, you disgust
my heart and I don't love you but I will die
to make you happy. Your brother called I told him
this horrible thing you started, I will never speak to you again"
"I love you, Mom. Ma, I am scared too, I'll be there tomorrow"
This project was supported, in part, by a grant, number 90AZ2791, from the Administration on Aging,
Department of Health and Human Services, Washington, D.C. 20201.
Grantees undertaking projects under government sponsorship are
encouraged to express freely their findings and conclusions. Points of
view or opinions do not, therefore, necessarily represent official Administration on Aging policy.
